What Could Have Been
by Caffiene-K
Summary: "Because she had been taken too early. She was too young, and too innocent. She didn't deserve it, but life wasn't fair." Tag to 7x10-Nothing Gold Can Stay. A oneshot about how the team have dealt with the death of one of their own. They go over memories and what could've been. Spoilers included, and includes angst.


_A/N: Because after crying for a few hours after watching 7x10, I picked myself up and came up with this. I usually write multi-chapter stories, but this one is just a one-shot. Lots of OOC from the characters. _

_It's mainly inner monologue. Lisbon's, Jane's, Cho's, Abbott's and Wylie's views on Vega, and what could've been._

_Tag to 7x10: Nothing Gold Can Stay. Contains spoilers and I hate to say it, character death, both in this story and the show. :(_

* * *

_Lisbon._

Lisbon had sat in her apartment, looking out the window. Her tears were falling down her face, and she made no move to wipe them. And as cheesy as it sounded, the weather had matched her feelings; miserable. Because like the grey clouds, and the drizzling rain, Lisbon was feeling miserable.

These past few days hadn't been good for her. The girl she thought of as a friend, a daughter, had just been lowered into the ground, never to see the light of day.

And Lisbon couldn't control the emotions that slammed into her. Vega was dead, fatal shots fired into her. And she couldn't get the image of Cho's eyes filled with guilt when he told her the situation, out of her head. A lump had formed in her throat, and as much as she tried, she couldn't deny how guilty _she _had felt.

Because Vega was too young, too inexperienced and too _innocent_. Vega deserved nothing of the things life had thrown her. She was a rookie, and as much as Lisbon hated to say it, all of them sealed their fates when they chose this job. But after countless years of doing a job like this? Something was bound to happen, everyone was bound to be surrounded by death.

For Vega, it was her demise. Vega knew what the job would bring, but that didn't mean that death had to come to her earlier, than anybody else.

For Lisbon it was death itself, that surrounded her. Of course, being in this field of work, you get used to the dead bodies. But when a dead body is someone you know, someone you love, that's something you can't get used to. Because first it was Sam, and Lisbon had cried and grieved for him, but slowly she got better. And now it was Vega.

Lisbon hadn't known Vega that long, but just like Van Pelt, she had seen Vega as apart of her family. Lisbon had seen straight away the similarities between Vega and Van Pelt.

They were both young and innocent. But when one detail had surfaced, it changed their whole outlook on life.

For Van Pelt it was the reality that people, specifically Craig O'Laughlin, weren't always what they turned out to be. And for Vega, it was the way her father had been taken. Slowly, painfully. Lisbon could relate what it was like for someone's life to slip away right in front of your eyes, she had witnessed it first hand with her father.

Because as painful as it was to think about the death of a _friend, _it was easier to think about that, than the words shared between her and a certain consultant.

And even though Lisbon had knew it for a while, _life really wasn't fair._

* * *

_Jane_

Jane was thinking about everything and anything. Like everyone else, Vega's death had hit him, and thinking about anything but those last few days was easier.

But instead of thinking about anything but Vega's death he thought about the painful things he had said to Lisbon.

He knew he was selfish by giving her an ultimatum, but she needed to know what would happen if he lost her.

As a lump grew in his throat he took a deep breath. Yes, he may be selfish when it came to Lisbon, but when it came to Vega, he would not be selfish.

Like the rest of the team, Jane hadn't known Vega for a long time. He remembered reading her, seeing if anything was amiss. And it turned out it had been. The death of her father led her to quite the military academy, leading her into a job in the FBI. Good choice or not, Vega had been committed to one thing, and one thing only; making her dad proud. 'Cause even though her dad was gone, stolen away by liver cancer, she continued to look up to him. And she wanted to prove herself, in Jane's eyes, she did more than that.

Vega might have been the rookie, but she was just as important as anyone else. She had sacrificed the same, and was always willing to help on cases.

Vega made everyone happier too. She made Wylie a bit more happier to go to work each day, she made Cho loosen up just the slightest, she made Jane smile when she tried to do one of his tricks he'd learned from being a carnie, and even though she'd never admit it. Vega made Lisbon happier too. Jane knew that Lisbon looked at Vega like she did with Van Pelt; a friend. Vega was determined and Lisbon was happy that more female agents were making their way into the male-dominant field.

A faint smile ghosted over Jane's lips as he thought of the dark-haired rookie. He would miss Vega greatly. She balanced out the team, and they had grown closer with the addition.

Jane realized that it was unfair that Vega, the newest of the team had been stolen away. Jane realized for the umpteenth time of his life that _life wasn't fair._

* * *

_Cho_

Cho could relate to Jane. He now knew why Jane never got any sleep, when he was alone. Cho found himself in that position now.

Every time Cho had closed his eyes, images of Vega's lifeless body invaded his mind. Her eyes closing, the blood seeping out of her wound. It was all too much for him.

Cho had gone over all the possibilities he could've taken. He was doing everything he told Lisbon not to do, when it came to Lisbon's troubles with Jane. He was over-thinking.

He was guilty. He knew that it was foolish to blame himself, but there was no one else to blame. He was the leader of the mission, and it was on his watch that an agent, a _friend _had died. He couldn't get her face out of his head. He couldn't get the fact that even when she was slipping away, she still asked him if she did well. She still wanted to prove herself to him.

"You did." Cho whispered to himself.

He wished that Vega hadn't come with him. He wished that she didn't spot the slightly higher boot, on the guy. He wished for everything to be a sick, twisted nightmare. Because if he was being honest, he would rather suffer from horrible nightmares, every night for a year, than face the reality of it all.

Cho had been stoic for the most part of joining this field of work. He knew the feelings and emotions meant nothing, because nobody cared. People die everyday, so why was this day any different? It was different because Cho knew first-hand all about death. It surrounded him, but this one was important to him. The deadpan had slipped away to reveal years of bottled up anguish. The memories lay there, but the fresh ones were even more painful than the past ones.

Vega had been taken away. She had her whole life planned out. In a few years, when Cho knew it was time to let go of being an agent, Vega could've been the next Kim Fischer or the next Teresa Lisbon, but that was stolen away.

A friend, daughter and niece had been stolen away.

Because like everything else _life wasn't fair._

* * *

_Abbott_

That day when Abbott had learned about the passing of Vega. He had gone home, making sure to hug his family that much tighter. He attempted to sleep, but when he woke, nightmares of Vega plaguing his mind, his wife had held him all night. He clung onto Lena, crying as she soothed him. She had known all about Vega.

That was something Lena had come to worry. The first night when her husband had gone to work, Lena had stayed up all night, and only when he came through the door at 1 in the morning, she felt relieved.

Abbott couldn't help the guilt that came when he learned about Vega. He thought about all those times he had been hard on her. He knew he could've been more supportive at some times, but now he had no chance to fix any of that. All the unspoken thank-you's, would be just that; unspoken.

Abbott had dealt with loss. Agents had died in the past, and it was never easy, but this one was somehow different. This was an agent apart of _his _team. The team was more like a family, and Vega was worth apart of that family, just as much as anybody else. Yes, she might have been the rookie, but in Abbott's eyes, she was the youngest sister.

He would never see what she would grow up to be. He saw her as a daughter, but now he would never see her again.

Abbott knew that Vega had a different side to her. While she was a professional agent, trying to prove herself, he could see the young girl, who was willing to help in any way. He knew that the team all had their different traits. Cho was the serious, strength of the team. Wylie was the was the protective one and Jane was the mischievous, trouble-maker. Vega was the spark of the team, she was professional, but brought the team to a new level.

Vega was a piece of the puzzle, that was now lost. The puzzle would forever be incomplete. And it was frustrating, because the puzzle _deserved _to be complete. It was _unfair._

* * *

_Wylie._

Wylie had knew that from a young age, life was unfair.

He knew that things were going to be difficult for him. Ever since he was little he was a bit of a geek. He was always attached to a computer, something that the girls never found attractive.

He had always been attracted to the pretty girls. The popular girls that could have any guy they wanted, but whenever he tried anything on them, they would hurt him. Right now it was the same situation all over again, except Vega didn't intentionally hurt him.

From the very first moment he had seen her, he knew that she was special. She held herself in a graceful, yet firm. She set her priorities straight, and she worked hard.

Over the next few weeks, Wylie had gotten to know her. He realized that she wasn't like those mean popular girls. She was pretty, beautiful even and her personality matched. She didn't scoff at his attempts to impress her, she had laughed, but it wasn't at him, it was _with _him.

He loved the case, when they went undercover as a couple. Heck, he loved every minute he had spent with her. And when he finally got the courage to ask her on a date, he had been more than surprised when she said yes. He had gone home jumping for joy, like a school girl.

Wylie had asked Abbott for advice the very next day, trying to plan the perfect date. He wanted the very best for Vega, because he knew that she was the very best for him. He had planned the perfect date.

All of that was ripped away, when he heard she was in hospital. A bad taste had entered his mouth, and he had rushed to the hospital as fast as he could.

He had prayed to God that she was safe.

He had been devastated when he saw her lying in the hospital bed, pale and lifeless. He had been even more devastated when her funeral rolled around.

Wylie's feelings had hit him hard. The hurt and anguish had overwhelmed him and before he could do anything else, he had sunken to his knees, crying for Vega.

Long after everybody had left, Lisbon pulling Wylie into a crushing hug, Wylie still knelt there.

It had been unbearable, seeing the fresh mound of dirt. Vega had died proudly, the way she would've wanted to go.

Although Wylie's hurt had blinded him, he knew he had to go see her.

A few days later, Wylie was at the cemetery. Holding a single, thornless, red rose, Wylie had calmed himself, before placing the only red rose in the sea of flowers. He gulped, sitting on the grass and not caring that the rain was soaking him through. He bent his knees in front of him, and propped his elbows up. He couldn't look at the gravestone, knowing that the words he didn't want to see were there.

Wylie took a deep breath. "Hey Vega." He stopped, he wasn't at work, he was just with her, alone. "Hey Michelle."

Her name sounded so foreign.

"I miss you, everybody does. We're all just hoping that it was just a joke, but when I look at the calender, I know it's not April." Wylie faintly smiled, attempting some dry humour. "Ah, it's not the same without you. The team has some days off, yay for us. I think we're just trying to pretend that it's because of a case, and not because of this."

He gulped, his throat was beginning to form a lump. "Everyone was so devastated. You should've seen Cho. He tries to bottle all his feelings up, he does. But on that day I guess he just exploded. He was angry, and then devastated. I was angry too. I didn't know why Cho wasn't there to protect you, but now I realize how guilty he must be feeling. I guess you made the Stoneman feel after all. I just wish it would be under different circumstances."

He was crying now. The tears were mixing with the rain, making it impossible to know what was what. He found it hard to find the right words. Ever time he spoke, his voice had begun to crack. But he knew it was now or never.

"Everything's changed. You don't know how happy I was, when I asked you out and you said yes. I couldn't sleep, I was so excited and even asked Abott for advice. I planned the whole date, trying to make it as perfect as possible. I made reservations at that fancy restaurant you wanted to go to, I just wanted everything to be perfect for you, because you deserve it. I know that I'm being selfish by making you listen to all of that. I came here to tell you something. Even though it's only been a few months, I've known this for a while."

Sobs wracked through Wylie's body. He wanted to tell all of this when she was alive, now he'd never get the chance. He knew he had to do it.

"I see you in my future. I would've done anything for you, and I would do anything for you because I-I. Vega _I love you._ And life isn't fair, because I should've told you that sooner, but it's true. I don't love you, I'm _in love with you."_

He'd done it. Wylie had confessed his love to her, but knowing it was to late, broke him even more. He dropped his head into his elbows, crying freely now. He didn't care if someone walked by. He was crying for the love of his life, and himself, and the team. Because they were hurting too.

"I'm sorry Vega, it was too late." He sobbed, his head still in his arms. He was still crying when he felt a sudden warmth, and looking up, he saw rays of sunlight peeking out of the clouds and onto Vega's gravestone.

And even though Wylie was slowly falling apart, he smiled. Because he knew that somewhere above, she was watching down on him.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts?_

_This was also supposed to be up 2 days ago, but as a lot of people know, the website crashed, so this is why it's a little late._

_Always, _

_R-P-O-J_


End file.
